Recently one of my female students was playing around with one of her male friends at our Dojo (training hall). The friend was pretending he was going to assault the student, who assumed a strong defensive posture (Bo-Bi No Kamae), and started yelling “Stay Back!” At this point another patron of the school, who attends the fitness classes, said: “Yelling stay back isn’t going to win a bar fight.”
He said more, but I had already laughed and walked away.
When I worked as a DJ and security guard at night clubs and bars I saw a lot of what it takes to win a fight. I am sure in my fitness student’s mind, winning a bar fight meant beating up the other guy. The truth is that the only way to win a bar fight is not to get into it. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s the truth; when it comes to a bar fight, of all the ones I’ve seen, people rarely “win.”
For the purpose of this blog lets define winning as ending the confrontation without sustaining a lot of damage mentally, physically, and monetarily (yes monetarily). Lets break it down one by one.
I have known people to sustain mental damage from being hit over the head with a bottle, chair, table, trash can, speaker, or by being kicked or punched. I have also known people to be choked so long that the lack of oxygen to the brain was believed to have caused brain damage.
I have seen people sustain irreversible facial scars and laceration from most of the above, including knives and guns, as well as other bodily scars.
I’ve known people who had to pay thousands of dollars to repair not only the physical and mental damage to their bodies and minds, but to their opponents as well.
I’ve seen guys defending themselves or their girlfriends, but in the melee the bouncers got confused and mistook the defenders for instigators. You can guess what happened next. I have also known bouncers who didn’t care who started a fight and decided to rough up all involved just because they needed to let off steam or felt like setting an example.
So what is the answer?
Don’t fight! This is the only true way to win both the battle and the war.
However, if you have no other choice, then make sure you make it clear to everyone that you are the defender and not the aggressor. This is where having your hands up and out (universal sign of stay away) and yelling “Stay back!” comes into play. It shows onlookers that you are not the instigator. It doesn’t magically stop an aggressor, but when it comes time to explain your story to the police, your statements (and those from witnesses) will prove you were the good guy. And that will definitely help in a courtroom. This technique is damage control at worst and a deterrent at best.
This advice will help you win the battle. But if you have to fight, the wounds you sustain physically, mentally, or monetarily could make you feel like you lost the war.
